Don't you hate it when you only have yourself to blame!

So I'm here in Connecticut... and things are not what was expected. The "plan" was,when discussed months ago, that my friend and I would travel around and decide where to live. When I say travel around I mean coast to coast. Both of us were looking to sort of start over and so I thought it would be great. We could be roommates and help each other along the way. I was so excited because I thought I finally found a friend that was adventurous and reliable. Just before I headed out here the tone started to change a little but by then it as too late. Now I've been here a month and I haven't even been to New York. Now, my friend is heading out to PA. to visit another friend of his and I'm staying in CT. A great thing that came up unexpectedly is that I'm staying with his sister and her husband in exchange for helping out with the kids, but I can't help feeling sad which turns to anger. Anger which can only be directed at myself for... wanting a friend to share the experience with, not speaking up more, letting the excitement take over and worst of all getting my hopes up. I should be happier at the thought of going it alone, but that's what I've been doing for a long time. I should of insisted on doing more things but I got caught up in the day to day activities around the house. Also, every time I was going to suggest things something came up. I really did try to not get my hopes up but I obviously failed miserably. Everyone has been telling me to trust more. "You give what you get"... , "If you don't give people a chance, then that's not fair to them"... blah!blah!blah! Where's the happy medium? I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself and I have a touch of cabin fever but aaahhh!!!!!! I just need to vent. I know it will all work out.
Directions: repeat to self 10 times before falling asleep... There's a reason for everything! Enjoy the journey, not just the destination! Also, think of at least two things you love about the people close to you.
P.S. Sorry about the pitty party :) I had to add a picture of Dave... :) He always makes me happy. (Note:This was taken at the Jazz fest in New Orleans)